written by: cyn knight
thursday tidings blogdom!
so today i posted this picture on my blog facebook page…![IMG_7604[1]](http://therunningredhead.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/img_76041.jpg)
in my head i assumed that the peeps who follow my page would *get it* and i think for the most part most did.
but there was one young lady (whom i am honestly not sure if she follows my blog/page or not – i wish i was more on top of that but i am not unless you are one of the few who comments frequently) who was very put out by the photo and basically accused me of *bashing* skinny girls.
wow.
pretty major accusations and i admit that at first i was quite shocked by them.
(i am summarizing here as i have since deleted the post)
but she made it very clear that comparing the beauty of a thicker girl in comparison to a thinner one was no better than the reversed. and while we all know that the bigger girls in the world get most of the brunt in that debate – two wrongs do not make a right.
she also said that if i was so comfortable in my *thicker* frame (once again summarizing) that i should do so without *bashing* skinny girls.
ouch.
but she made a valid point and after i calmed down and swallowed my pride a bit – i knew i had to make amends and delete the photo. the last thing i ever want is to offend someone… even if i don’t think they got where i was coming from.
my intention was to emphasize the beauty in a thicker body and promote health as well as point out the glorification that the media makes on these über thin women that most of us can never emulate without starving ourselves – the photo could easily sway someone into thinking i have a *i hate skinny bitches* mentality.
(come on – everyone knows a girl who has that mentality!)
and i honestly do not.
the women i surround myself with are all of all shapes and sizes and i see the beauty in every single one and it has NOTHING to do with whether they are thin or not.
and even though i battle my own demons with the scale — i am working like hell to get past that and focus on my fitness and health.
our ideal body shape is so personal – some of us are content just to get into our size 10 jeans (hello me!) and others want to strive to be smaller and as long as it is done in a healthy manner – who the fuck am i to judge?
in the future i will be more sensitive to what i post and try to take into consideration the feelings of all the body types in the world.
but i do stand by my belief that the media inundates us with the ridiculous ideal that consists of flat bellies, protruding hip bones and ribs, mile long legs that don’t rub together, long flowing hair and flawless skin. and as the mother of a young daughter who will face gawd knows what ridiculous ideals by the time she is old enough to understand… it pisses me off!
what are your thoughts on this???
should i have stood my ground or do you think i was right to remove the photo?
personally, i stand by my decision to remove it as i truly think it was the right thing to do…
and i am extending my apology to the young lady who pointed out my insensitivity!
peace, love & margaritas kittens!
xxoo
cyn
*** can’t get enough of my ass?
you can find out ALL about & where to find me on about.me/cynknight
I think you’re an amazing person for taking it down, even though I feel exactly the same as you. And apologizing for offending someone makes you even more amazing!
I agree, we love all of our friends, however they are. My youngest used to be one of those skinny bitches. After having her first child she went down to 95 pounds (from 115 pre pregnancy) while breastfeeding. She tried to keep up by consuming 4000+ calories a day. She told a fat friend of mine that she was offended by her comments and my fat friend reflected on that for a few days and apologized.
I love your blog and your blatant use of the eff word… Keep up the great writing xoxox
It was very sweet of you to apologize, I missed the post, and would have been one that would have agreed with your post of this pic as recently as last week. My daughter is one of the “skinny bitches” though, and it’s funny that you just wrote about this topic. You know full well my weight issues, but my 20 yr old daughter is the exact opposite. She is 5′ 4″ and struggles to stay at 90 lbs. She does not have an eating disorder. In fact, I just watched her devour two huge bowls of pasta and a salad with about a quart of blue cheese dressing and croutons and then a Twix bar. She just can’t keep weight on. High metabolism, whatever it may be… She wears a size 00 and would shop in the little girl’s dept if they made long enough jeans. It bothers her when people make snide comments or call her “Annie” for anorexic or skinny bitch or any of those things like she does it on purpose. She WANTS to have curves and look like a woman, not a 12 yr old boy, as she puts it. She drinks high calorie protein shakes mixed with ice cream to try to put on weight on top of her two or three meals. Honestly, until recently, I never realized how much it bothered her. I knew she was always thin, I just thought she was fortunate.
So, what you said resonated with me. It may not be the majority that feel this way, but certainly there are some that do. You clearly struck a nerve with someone. I guess it is all about perspective…
Last time I checked it was YOUR page and you can post anything YOU want to. And come on, those skinny chicks are fucking NASTY. Fact. In no way, shape or form are skin and bones sexy. It’s just not. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and I think the majority of men prefer curves to skeletons.
I have to agree with this and didn’t want to put it on your facebook page but it is YOURS.
Right on!
Hi Cyn, while your efforts may have been admirable to some when you took the picture down, I have to say, as Robin said above, it is YOUR fb page and your blog. YOU are free to post what you want, including your own opinions. Last time I checked, we do have that right still, no? As I can understand ppl being oversensitive to things, what about all the fat/curvy girl hate that’s always posted? I’m sure whomever was offended never bitched about those pictures. I look at it this way, you’re not going to please everyone and why the hell should you try. Be YOU, it’s YOUR life and if someone doesn’t like it, they don’t need to be involved. Hell, it was just your blog page! Really? I’ve posted pics like before and damn if someone would say “I’m offended” cause I’d tell them don’t look then.
Rock on sista! You’re always gonna have those who love ya, and those who hate cause they wanna be ya!
Muwah! I loves ya!
Bravo, Bren! Right on.
You expressed your opinion. There is no bashing going on in the image above. You were expressing your viewpoint, and on your page, where you talk about such things. That one person took offense speaks not to your intent, but to her personal perspective, which she’s entitled to.
I would not have removed the image. I would have responded by saying I wasn’t bashing, I was stating my opinion, and thanked her for expressing her thoughts.
You let her take away your power. You allowed her to make you doubt your intentions. You know who you are and what you stand for where that young woman doesn’t. (Said gently, and with empathetic compassion.)
Applause, applause! Well said, Ellen.
I would have stood my ground, in fact, that’s exactly what I did!
Something similar happened to me on my Facebook page on this very same topic. I told the person that what I posted there was apropos for me personally, and if she was offended, I was sorry about that, but not about posting what I wanted to on MY page. She deleted her comments, so it looked like I was talking to myself, LOL, so I deleted mine as well. We are no longer connected on Facebook or Twitter, but, that’s her choice. We were acquaintances, at best. From my perspective, people shouldn’t be criticizing what’s on your page. That’s like your “home” on the internet.
I agree with the sentiment that it’s your page and you are free to post whatever you want (or take down whatever you want). However, keep in mind that you can’t make everyone happy. If they don’t like what you post or your opinions, they don’t have to read it. I have unfriended many a people on Facebook because I had no desire to read what they were putting out there. I understand both sides of this argument and I have many more thoughts on this. I might post a response on my blog.
That being said… It does take a big person to realize they might be in the wrong with something they posted and make an apology. So, kudos to you for that! However, I don’t think you were in the wrong with the picture, but I’ve been following your blog for almost 3 years and understand what you intended.
I think it would have been better to say, “These women are just as hot(or just as beautiful) as these women.” Today is international women’s day, and we need to stop dividing amongst ourselves. You (and me, and all bigger girls) would be PISSED OFF if someone posted a graphic that said…”These skinny girls are so much hotter than these plump chicks.” When the shoe is on the other foot, it’s different. Besides, Masshole mommy…beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one guy(or girl) thinks is hot, another may not.
Your page and you do what you want. I am sorry but the girl in the middle is not skinny she is malnourished and that is not right. The model in the middle actually has gained some weight since this pic and she too agreed that she was to thin……
i truly appreciate all the comments — wow, didn’t think this post would create such varied debate! i see most of you think i was wrong to take down my post based on the whole it’s *MY* page — i can do what i want, etc. exactly ladies — hence why i took it down. it was MY choice because i felt it wasn’t worth offending someone and i saw her side of the issue. i also disagree that i lost my power by doing so. i empowered myself by seeing her side and agreeing that there is a flipside to this debate. it was my choice to remove the post based on all of the above. i wasn’t forced or coerced. she never asked me to remove it — i chose to do by my own free will. my intent is known by those who know me and read my blog regularly — and my intent is not to divide women for any reason. there is enough bullshit crap that pits women against one another in this world — i refuse to add to it! simple as that.
but i love you all so much for your passion and your belief in me — that means more to me than a petty debate over a silly photo.
xxoo!