written by: cyn knight
happy humpity hump kittens!
so i posed the question of “what happens once you lose the weight?” in the topic today.
because it’s been a topic thick on my mind lately.
ya see, when i was revamping my blog last week i added that nifty tab above that says *weight loss* because well, that is what the bulk of my blog is really about.
or my fitness journey as i like to call it now.
but i am getting ahead of myself.
on top of giving the old blog a new look stirring up thoughts of writing about this…
i posted this pic on a new fitness page i am following on facebook — JASON 2.0 — a fun interactive page to follow and seemingly a fun community of other peeps on the same journey!
i am sure if you have read my blog for awhile — you have seen me post something similiar.
but my description for the page went like this…
new like here — love the page!!! transformatiom tuesday — from 240 lbs in summer 2011 to 165 lbs in october 2013 — 75 lbs GONE & maintaining since february 2012!! currently training to run the disney princess half marathon in february & loving my healthier life!
(can you tell i have found the *quote* feature recently — expect lots of these little yellow blocks — just sayin’!)
okay, so yeah, what of it?
well — because you asked — it got me to thinking that i am pretty proud to say i have maintained this 75 lb weight loss for two years (minus those two bumps in the road where i regained 15-20lbs)!
but in the same respect — i will always feel like a work in progress.
yes, i have teetered with trying to lose more weight.
my weight watchers goal was ALWAYS 160 lbs and i never got there.
but after almost two years of hitting my lowest of 165 (i weighed in at 166 last week)– i have come to realize a couple of things.
i don’t mind this weight.
i can maintain it with ease as long as i am doing what i need to do in the realms of eating healthy and being active.
i fit in my clothes nicely.
my fiance’ thinks i am all that and a bag of doughnuts.
i am slowly but surely becoming a better runner.
and i got goals galore that don’t pertain one iota to a number on scale.
and the thing is this — this maintenance stage — that NEVER EVER ends is the real hard work.
yeah sure it’s nice to say i have relatively maintained my weight for two years — but please do not for one second think it was easy!
this is the real deal here.
maintaining weight is without a doubt harder than losing!
when you are in the losing stage you work your ass off — literally — but every week you get on that scale and those numbers go down which equates to this numerical cheering section that says “look at you go — you rock balls you badass MoFo!”
when you are maintaining — intentionally or not — you STILL work your ass off every week, get on that scale and those numbers hover at the same point which equates as a numerical yawn section that says “oh gee nice — see ya next week right here at good old 165ish!”
okay i might be exaggerating…
because over time you have to just get the heck over the scale.
but it’s a fact nonetheless — sometimes ya want/need that scale to go back to cheering you on.
and this is where the battle ensues.
i will be the first one to admit that it took me all of these past two years to get over that.
and i am not saying that i am 100% over it — i wouldn’t be writing about it if i was.
but i am in a much better place in my head about it.
i am at the point where i am truly learning to love and accept my body.
is it perfect?
do i wish things were different about it?
but it is not keeping me up at night!
i think the one thing that really helped me get the whole scale obsession out of my head was the wedding dress debate.
did i want to keep working hard to lose weight just to say i got to *X* amount of pounds to turn around and spend a fortune to have seamstresses TEAR MY DRESS APART to fit my newer, thinner body?
ummm HELL NO I DID NOT!
and the truth was — i look good in my gown.
(maybe even a little bit better than good?)
why was i going to kill myself to lose 5-10lbs just to reach some weight goal i created in my head when i felt great right where i was?
(and yes, i still have those booty-pop pants link saved in case i need to add booty to my dress… *snicker*)
so if that logic pertains to one of the most significant days of my life — why could it not carry over to every other day?
ya see where i am going here???
and please don’t think that i am just saying *screw it* and calling it a day.
not the case at all — as i said, i have tons of goals that do not pertain to weight loss per say.
but in these goals i do expect my body to change, get stronger and most definitely become more fit.
how that will relate to the numbers on the scale?
i don’t know?
and i don’t care!
so in saying all of this…
what DOES happen once you lose all the weight?
you still work just as hard — if not harder.
you learn to accept that the *weight* — or lack thereof — was just the product of bigger demons and you have to start learning to figure out what they really are and work on those.
you have to get over the scale.
you have to create new goals and OFTEN!
you have to learn to love your body — because sometimes weight loss doesn’t equate that vision you had of yourself when you were 75 lbs heavier.
you have to learn that if you want continuous change — you have to continuously change.
you have to learn to live a life — no really, you need to live life!
you have to learn to be brutally honest because everyone regains — when you come clean you get cleansed!
you need to learn forgiveness — because NO ONE is perfect all the damn time. not even jillian michaels or shaun t or even tony horton — c’mon we know they all like a cookie and a cocktail every now and then!
you need to be realistic — your after will not always be like someone else’s after — and that’s okay!
and most of all — and i will say it again — you/we need to learn to be kind to ourselves — which basically summarizes everything i just said above — even the part about still working hard, if not harder — because the hard work is for YOU and YOU deserve it!
so in my experience — this is what happens once you lose the weight.
is it chaotic and often neurotic?
BIG HELL YES!
but it beats the alternative of being that girl i was.
weight aside — she was sad, unhealthy, a prisoner in her own skin, had no purpose, never thought she could do half the things i do now, and she really didn’t like herself one bit.
and well excuse my french but — fuck that!
i will take the hard work of maintaining and being in the “what happens after you lose the weight” stage ANY day over that!
peace, love and margaritas,