written by: cyn
hey party peeps… remember me? yeah i barely do either truth be told. but never fear… it is ME!
so how does one go from blogging pretty faithfully for four years to literally falling off planet earth? that’s a toughie and if i had a definitive answer you know i’d be all over that shit. truth is… life got busy and bloggin’ took a back seat or twenty.
what propelled me to even write today?
nothing in particular and in all honesty, i completely forgot how to even navigate this site… so excuse me if this post is all over guam and back!
so how is life you ask? gee… that would take me awhile to recap but i will give the highlights… IMHO at least.
- peyton graduated high school in june of last year and is currently in his second semester at a local community college not far from where we live. he’s thriving and doing well although he is blindly taking classes without an ultimate goal in mind… but that is totally allowed in your freshman year. hell, i spent the good majority of my life trying to figure out what i wanna be when i grow up!
- skylar is in kindergarten, loves it and is doing amazingly! she goes full time and it has been so good for her with all the stimulation and socializing. as we all know, miss thing loves to socialize!
- hunter is still working his job at the home depot and informed me yesterday that he is moving out into his own apartment with a lifelong friend. part of me weeps and another part is overjoyed for him. he and i don’t always see eye to eye (because we’re a lot alike) but i am so immensely proud of him!
- i have not really ran since may of last year. yeah, as in almost a year ago! i injured myself (still haven’t seen a proper doc on that one) during the last half marathon i did (errrr…. attempted, i completed by literally hobbling across the finish line but another story for another time.) and running has been pretty much non-existent since then. am i struggling with that reality? fuck yeah i am. it’s a mental battle and a half because running has been “my thang” for so long and i put so much into getting as far as i did and to have it taken away from me in literally one moment is a mind gang bang. i hate not being able to run and because i let the “run or nothing” mentality take over… i am currently 30lbs heavier than the day i got married last january. that is another mental battle in itself. but i am working on that…
- speaking of married… married life is harder than i ever imagined. yeah, i am admitting that. blending families in harder than i ever imagined. yeah, i am admitting that too. can i say i am happily married? no, sadly i cannot, and that is also something i am dealing with… needless to say, its been a very hard year. i have been put in the position to make hard choices — those of which i am really not willing to divulge at this time. but even just owning that i am struggling is a huge relief for me. so thanks blogosphere for giving me that outlet. oh and no need to fret… i have full faith that life WILL work out the way it is meant to be and i will be just honkey dorey! (anyone who personally knows me in the real world… please refrain from making any public inquiries as to what any of this means… i will never discuss my relationships publicly — especially via facebook — so i ask ya’ll to respect that… besides, if i wanted you to know, you’d know!)
- i start school in april! april 2nd to be exact and i am super excited about that. i am taking a year long course to be a medical assistant — yeah me! i know some people… as in some people in the medical field… feel compelled to go into health service, and i had that moment recently. a calling if you will. no, not from god — but dean recently had a incident (all is fine with him) where he was in the hospital and i was watching the nurses and what they do and i thought to myself… i could do that. I SHOULD DO THAT! two months later (and much debate over attending nursing school) here i am — less than a month away from starting school! YAY ME! let’s just pray i look good in scrubs! (i am thinking bedazzling your scrubs is frowned upon, no?)
- all the girls in the posse are doing fabulous… we are a lucky bunch to have one another.
- i dropped out of the beachbody business… not because i disliked it or believe it’s a rip off or wasn’t doing well. my head wasn’t fully in it and as i mentioned earlier… i lost all fitness/diet/workout momentum after getting injured. (if anyone sees my MoJo…send it my way… i miss that fucker!) it was a bonehead move but i never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box!
- my depression is a weird topic. i am currently off all medication, and while i am not okay per say (i still struggle with day to day stuff and staying organized and motivated) — i truly think i am better than i was on it. i know that makes NO SENSE… and is completely against my doctors recommendation, but it was tough there for awhile with all the side effects and i made a choice i thought was right for me. in some ways i feel like i am more coherent than ever — in other ways, i fight daily. it’s a fucked up battle and more times than not i am on the losing team. but every now and again i score and it feels better than being medicated!
- this winter here in new england has been the worst ever. i am sure everyone watches the news so i will spare ya with the details but WHAT THE FUCK… i have never seen this much snow in the 20+ years i have lived here and i have to admit that it is more depressing than missing powerball by one number! i mean seriously mother nature… take a pill, get laid, get drunk… GET FUCKED! do whatever it takes to be nice and at least let some seasonal weather in. march 3rd and wading through four feet of snow is some serious bullshit if you ask me! HMMPH!
so that about sums it uip… not really, but enough that me being me… i can continue to blog from here out as if i were never gone for ALMOST A GOSH DARN YEAR…
it’s all about me after all, right?
the weird thing is that i have thought about blogging for some time now… i think i was just scared to jump back into it without all the “LIFE IS GREAT” nonsense…which in itself is nonsense because i honestly do not know one person who isn’t struggling with at least ONE THING in their life. yeah, so i have my hands full with some shit going on… but i have been down and out before and came back better than ever and have absolutely no doubts i can do it again! i have a lot to wrap my head around both personally and not… but i am a redheaded ninja… a ginja — you can’t fuck with me for too long LIFE before i snap and nunchuck your ass to death! and bitches be snappin’!
peace, love and margaritas bloggy peeps!
*** feel free to comment and send me some love… ginja’s need love too yanno ;)